How to prepare for baby, Monday night edition.

1) Make Washington Post Food Section recipe for creamy eggplant soup.

2) Realize you are lagging way behind in protein for the day, once again. Baby needs protein for brain development. Every snack could save you money with college scholarships. Eat a couple of eggs while soup is simmering.

3) Eat soup, delicious. Especially with goat cheese.

4) Develop task list for the night. Tasks include developing a pediatrician-choosing-strategy (the first step toward choosing one, no?), cleaning out the overflowing closet in what will be the nursery, selecting and ordering a dresser for the baby’s tiny clothes and other worldly goods, looking at other nursery furniture online and researching vacuum cleaners.

5) Since you are secretly Hispanic and eat dinner late, it is already 9:30 pm. Reassess task list, given the time. Downgrade to closet work and computer tasks (starting with dresser, then moving on from there). Since you are regularly falling asleep during the day, set new bedtime: 11 pm.

6) Get to work on the closet. Discover a bag full of papers from 1996-97, the year you spent in England. They are mementos for the scrapbook you never finished. If you had never found this bag, you would not have remembered its existence. But now that you have, you are obligated to look at every piece of paper, since you did tote them across the ocean and carry them around for 14 years.

7) Enjoy the memoir gems. Particularly this one: a napkin on which your Canadian friend wrote the words in English and French to her national anthem, and drew a map of Canada’s provinces. Think of how you enjoyed “O Canada” so much during the winter Olympics that you looked up the words to the anthem (on the internet, not this napkin) and sang it over and over one day until you had memorized it.

8)Throw away the napkin and be grateful that even though you are still sentimental and save the occasional ticket stub, you have gotten past the saving-a-napkin stage of your life.

9) Remember in the diner last month in Massachusetts, when you wrote down baby name ideas on a napkin? That would be handy now. Too bad you threw it away.

10) Meanwhile, husband looks to relocate large bag of cat litter that has been stored in nursery closet. Finds a potential spot for it in hall closet, but that means clearing out the mysterious pile of stuff crammed in the bottom of the hall closet. Discovers wife’s 1998 laptop computer and video camera. Who knew?

11) Fire up the laptop, so you can download its long-held senior thesis files, then recycle the machinery. Ah, the sound of this computer turning on is like going back in time! Realize how far computers have come: the screen looks so old and different now, like the remains of an ancient civilization. And it is taking approximately 500 years just to turn on.

12) Realize “Operation Nursery Closet” is going too late. Limit it, for now, to “Operation Litterbag and Bag-of-English-Papers.” Call it done. Go downstairs.

13) Make a cup of red raspberry leaf tea, which you had intended to drink every day of the third trimester but keep forgetting.

14) Start shopping for dresser online. Due to severe size restrictions, usual method of shopping for used furniture online is not working out so well. However, cost restrictions still apply. Turn to list of new dressers; realize they are made out of cardboard. Extend search.

15) Note that it is now past 11 pm, the time you vowed to go to bed. The baby does not need a dresser. And yet, there are some piles of stuff that could really use a dresser. Keep shopping.

16) Get into a spousal argument about the meaning of “antique white.”

17) Note that it is now midnight. Wife gives up. Husband endures. Searches website of big box store hated by urban yuppies who eat soups made from farmers’ market eggplants. But behold! A dresser made of wood and woodishness, meeting our very specific size requirements for a very tiny room.

18) Order dresser! Success!

19) You have accomplished something! And the computer has finally finished booting up! But how to get files off of it? It has no thumb drive technology or CD writer.  It does have a floppy drive, but nothing else in the house does. Save this dilemma for another day.

20) In effort to clear things out of the cat’s path, husband puts much smaller remaining pile of British papers in the crib. This seems somehow oddly symbolic: baby has a program from the 1996 King’s College Lessons and Carols but no pediatrician. Oh, well.  Baby will love English church music.  Go to bed. Husband notes, “If we weren’t having a baby, we never would have found all this stuff!” Indeed.

This is how we get things done.  Good night.

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13 Comments

Filed under pregnancy

13 responses to “How to prepare for baby, Monday night edition.

  1. megmed

    Love this. 🙂
    And the soup looks great! Was just looking at a similar one. http://smittenkitchen.com/2010/10/roasted-eggplant-soup/

  2. little

    You’re so funny and cute. CJane would read this and probably want to be your best friend in the whole world wide web.

  3. Uncle Dave

    Sounds like early stages of “nesting”.

  4. Big Sis

    Ah, the joys of pre-baby closet cleaning. I remember that stage! (In fact, I blogged about it as well. Though not so cleverly.) We didn’t have such exciting finds though.
    Good thing you found that antique cam-corder in time to record Pavo’s babyhood for posterity. 🙂

  5. Might be my favorite post of yours yet… what’s the verdict on the soup??

  6. Aunt Beth

    I love this! I remember myself in 1980, sitting an arm’s length away from a sewing machine (so as to have room for a 35-week baby in between), trying to sew the crib skirt. I barely finished with that project. Because Mary arrived nearly 4 weeks ahead of schedule, I didn’t even put together the crib. Your Grandmother Freeman came to Columbia where I was in the hospital and fixed it up for me before they sent me home!

  7. the vessel

    oh goodness, I hope Pavo does not come 4 weeks early! That’s next week! If so, everyone is hereby invited to come clean our house while I am in the hospital. But most of all, I hope the baby gets a few more weeks to grow. S/he is still kind of a pipsqueak.

  8. Elizabeth

    I would like to say that I think having the program from Lessons and Carols at King’s COllege in one’e crib is excellent preparation for life. What else is needed?

  9. Wonderful, familiar insanity. Will pray / buy whiskey for husband.

  10. Sara K.

    You are the best. Can’t wait to belt out O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A with you in the coming future!

  11. Pingback: The post wherein I try (and fail) to buy diapers « DC, baby!

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